You may remember that a couple of weeks ago I said I had another fifty first to update you on. On the other hand if this is the first of my blogs that you've read, you won't remember that at all, so if that's you, then just go with the flow and you could always try reading this post again in a couple of days or weeks time, when hopefully you will remember. Of course that all depends on how long ago you read this for the first time and how good, or bad, your memory is. Anyway, to get back to the point, about a month ago I signed up to an internet dating site, well two actually, but I'm jumping the gun, we'll get to that.
Now I know internet dating has been around for a while and loads of people do it, but in all honesty, I wasn't that keen. I'd thought about it for quite a few years, but never wanted to give it a go and actually, if I'm honest, a big part of me still doesn't. There's just something a bit weird about it, you know getting to know someone via messages. Anyone could say anything at all and it's hard enough to spot the genuine ones when you're conversing face to face. Then there's the photos, how do you know it wasn't taken ten years ago, or that it's actually them in the first place? Now you're probably thinking I'm way too cynical for my own good and you'd be right, but I still think I've got a point! But quite a few of my fifty firsts have involved stepping outside my comfort zone, so that seemed as good a reason as any to give it a go. Plus, you never know, maybe the cynicism will abate due to meeting the love of my life and in any case I've got to have done fifty things for the first time by April 6th 2014, so I can't afford to miss any opportunities.
First of all I tried Match.com, as a friend recommended it and yes, as their advertising says it was free and easy to set up my profile. A lot of it just involved choosing from the options available, you know for describing my personality traits and what I was looking for in a man. All well and good, but I only completed 40% of the profile, intending to go back and complete the headline, description and the rest of it the following day, having given a bit of thought as to what I wanted to say. I also didn't get round to uploading a photo, but had ticked the box to say I was only interested in hearing from men who had a photo on their account - talk about double standards, but I did intend to go back and do my photo the next day, honest! So the following evening I logged on and checked my emails before getting on to anything else and was somewhat stunned to discover that I had been checked out by several men and my profile was proving so popular that Match.com had decided not send any more individual emails telling me that a man aged whatever had viewed my profile. But here was where it got even more interesting. Now you can call me naive, and I'm happy to admit that I can be at times, but I was quite taken aback to discover that this free service required me to pay a monthly subscription for the privilege of seeing who had looked at my unfinished profile. This was where the cynic in me rose to the surface, because I began getting messages to say that someone had added me to their favourites - this has happened eight times in the last month! Really? Without a photo to look at, eight men have decided I'm their favourite? I'm not that naive! Next I got an email to say that someone had winked at me, but again I had to sign up for a monthly subscription to be able to find out who it was. And they winked at me without seeing a photograph? Blind or desperate springs to mind!! Or it's all a con to get money out of people and yes, I did watch the edition of Panorama on this subject. Suffice it to say I have not and will not sign up - if I had the disposable income I'd rather spend the £29 per month subscription propping up a bar somewhere in the hopes of meeting someone I could talk to face to face. The daily emails have continued to arrive; today for the first time there were slightly fewer men checking out my profile, but I wonder how long the 'interest' will last if there is no sign of my debit card appearing. As a short aside, whilst writing this blog I checked my account at Match.com to check the stats were correct and in that twenty minutes or so two people have viwed my profile and aother person has winked at me without seeing what I look like.
Undeterred I enlisted the help of Mr Google in finding a site that was both free and could be accessed via the community wifi I use. Interestingly, the Daily Telegraph's online dating service is blacklisted due to being porn. I wonder if they know and how they feel about that? I came up with Completely Free Dating, which is as it says, completely free. There are of course downsides. The website covers its costs and presumably makes a profit through the use of advertising, so there are adverts for other dating sites, hotels, etc all over the place, which is a little off putting, but bearable. The other main problem is that there seems to be an infinitesimal amount of men (and quite probably women, but I haven't looked in that direction) who are obviously only there for cheap thrills. Some are quite blatant about looking for no strings attached sex and I suppose, in a way, all credit to them for being open and honest about what they're after - at least they're not going to be leading someone on. Since July 14th I have had 17 messages, with 5 men sending me more than one message. Some have had no picture - that discounts them. Some have written in text speak - that discounts them, as it's something I find particularly irritating. There have been a couple of genuine ones, but their profiles and photos didn't make me want reply in any way other than thanks but no thanks. There have been several from much younger men clearly after the older woman fantasy; not even thanks, just no thanks, particularly when they refer to cougars; I've nothing against being involved with a younger man, but I can't be the only mature woman who finds that terminology insulting, can I? I suppose it could be construed as flattering in a way (the concept, not the terminology), but I'm a real person and not just here to be a tick on someone else's list. And yes, I know that's a bit cheap considering that internet dating was a tick on my list in the first place, but that doesn't mean I'd chat to anyone or everyone whether I was interested or not. The last thing I'd want to do is lead anyone on or use them to my gain and I'd be mortified if I thought anyone would think that of me. There have been a couple that I've replied to, one particularly seemed quite promising - a very comprehensive profile, written in full English sentences with accurate spelling and grammar, a wide range of interests, many of which are similar to mine, lives locally and he seemed genuinely interested in my profile. I suppose I ought to confirm at this point that it is a complete profile, with a headline and description, that I have tweaked a few times until I was happy with it. I also uploaded not just one but two photos - one from my eldest daughter's hen night, complete with devil horns and drinking through a willy straw and one from her wedding, where I look much more refined.
Well, he was keen for us to chat and hoped to hear from me, so I replied last night, virtually straight away, but have had no further response from him, although he has viewed my profile again today. Perhaps he's just a bit busy or maybe it was something I said ... I'll just have to wait and see I guess. So, final thoughts on internet dating? Someone else has just winked at me according to Match.con!
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